Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Leap of Faith

As many of you who follow our journey on Facebook already know, we have had a pretty tumultuous couple weeks. Last Sunday, the 8th, our doctor sat Jeff and me down and told us that after a couple days off the ventilator, Logan's lungs had begun to fill up again. He just doesn't have the strength or the ability cough hard enough to protect his airway, so pretty much any fluid in his mouth, nose or throat ends up in his lungs. After much discussion, prayer and deliberation, we came to the conclusion that putting our baby through any more procedures just isn't a good option for us. The doctor told us that we should start preparing for Logan's fight to soon be over.

Last Monday morning we were gathering our family to say goodbyes and making sure our sweet boy felt as loved and secure as possible. Out of nowhere on Monday afternoon, God showed us He wasn't quite through with Logan's journey on this earth. He woke up, acting happier and more playful than he'd been in days, and his oxygen saturation, respiratory rate and heart rate were steadily improving by the minute. None of us really knew what to think... some ups and downs like this are not unusual for a kiddo in Logan's condition. So we resolved to consider any days with him as a gift and to try to take each day, each hour at a time.

Since last Monday, they have been weaning his oxygen as he continues to do well. His lungs are sounding more clear and his cough is stronger each day. He has really made a tremendous turnaround from a week and a half ago. After more discussion and much prayer, we decided this week to take Logan home. We have done pretty much everything there is to do at the hospital, and it's time we try to live as a family of four under one roof again. We are going home on hospice care, so we will have a nurse come to the house periodically to check on our boy and make sure he is comfortable and pain free. We have spent the week getting equipment (hospital bed, oxygen concentrator, feeding pump) and supplies all delivered and set up at home. Discharge is set for this afternoon, and while we are feeling very thankful to be able to be together as a family again, it is hard to leave our amazing team at the hospital. Seriously, our doctors, nurses, RTs and even housekeeper have been so very wonderful to us. It is obvious how much they love our little guy, and I now consider them to be dear friends. I am tearful as I write about how we will miss seeing them every day.

Of course, we have worries and fears about doing this 'alone', because while we know we are far from alone, it will be a big change for us. As we take this step to try to do what's best for our family, we're working on giving these negative thoughts to God and know He will provide for our every need - physical, spiritual and emotional - as He has throughout this whole ordeal.

We are truly blessed in so many ways and are so thankful for the outstanding team of people praying fervently for our family. We love you all.

25 comments:

  1. Praying for you constantly! I know it's hard to leave the medical team behind especially when they become like family. Our housekeeper actually bought Ellie her first Easter basket in the NICU. I can't wait for you all to be home as a family and I'm sure the boys will love being together again!!

    Love you all!!

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  2. I am so excited for you all!! It will be wonderful to all be home again, just adjusting to your "new normal." My how things can change in such short time!

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  3. praying for this new transition, and that being home is JUST what logan needs!!

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  4. This sounds like a wonderful idea! I'm thrilled you can all be together back at home! We will be praying and thinking about you guys every second... Keep us updated on your little ones. Love and hugs!! xo

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  5. Relentless prayers headed your way for an amazing transition home and for more good days with your family. Your faith and strength continue to be an ultimate example to others. We pray for more blessings and that God's will and mercy prevail. God bless you!!!!

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  6. Dear Karlee -

    Thanks for the update. Taking your little guy home is absolutely the right thing to do, to be surrounded by the sights and sounds of his loving family and friends.

    Today would have been our sweet Veronica's 2nd birthday, I remember that day so vividly, full of joy, love, and excitement. It's been an exceptionally emotional day.

    Thinking about you all and praying every day...

    Marc

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  7. Karlee what a great title for this post. Leap made in faith and love and hope. Praying always.

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  8. Karlee,
    It is with tears streaming down my face I have read page by page, line by line of your precious family's journey. I found your blog through Kelly's Korner and am on my knees right now praying for your sweet boys. God's grace is so evident in you. His mercy made clear in the midst of chaos. His sovereignty abundantly present.

    Covering you in prayer-
    Ali Davis

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  9. Karlee, I also came to your blog through Kelly's Korner and have now read every single post from start to finish. My heart is heavy as I read what you are facing with both Logan and Griffin. I am also the mother of two sons and cannot imagine the burden on your shoulders right now. Praying that all of us who come before the Father praying for your sons will somehow help you to bear that burden.

    People always like to say "God won't give you more than you can handle" but that clearly cannot be true, for how would he be glorified if you did it all yourself? You clearly have more than you can fix, manage or heal on your plate right now and are given the opportunity to rely wholeheartedly on Him. It is so apparent in your writing that you are trusting Him in this time and that He is using this time to draw you closer to Him and show you more of His character. Praying for all those around you who will bear witness to His grace, peace and mercy in your life.

    Most of all, praying for your two precious sons.

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  10. I just found your blog through Kelly's Korner. I'm at a loss for words, but I want you to know I will be praying for your boys and you and your husband.

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  11. Hi Karlee,
    I am also coming over from Kelly's Korner and just finished reading your entire blog. Your boys are beautiful!!! Praying for you and your sweet family as you head home.

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  12. Precious sister in Christ - i am praying for you and for your precious boys. may our God of hope and mercy and grace reach down and touch that sweet boy and minister healing to his body. I am lifting up Griffin as well as Logan and you and your husband. May the Lord be glorified in this situation and His name proclaimed mighty!

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  13. I cannot even imagine your anguish... Lifting your precious family up in prayers..

    Amber

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  14. I came to your blog through Kelly's Korner Blog. I can't imagine what you must be going through- I am also the mom of 2 boys. I know that God is in control and will be with your family the whole way. I will be praying for you all!

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  15. I would love to follow your story on facebook for more frequent updates as I think and pray for your family daily. Is that something you feel okay about giving the link to? I'm so happy to hear about his progress and the ability for your family to all be at home together.

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  16. Prayers for your beautiful family. May our Father in Heaven give you hope, strenght of heart, and healing. God has a plan and His plan is at work. For all of us whom have read your story, may our hearts be touched and drawn closer to Him for what He is doing in the life of your family.

    Blessing of Peace to you today and all the days to come.
    Ashley

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  17. Praying for you and your boys right now!

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  18. I found your blog through kelly's kroner and have read many of your posts. I am so sorry for your families anguish and heartache. Dear God, we lift up this family to you. We know you know their heart ache and that it is your own heart ache. We pray that their transition home will be as simple and as smooth as it possibly can be. We pray for both of their precious boys that they will know the love that surrounds them during this time. We pray for strength, physically,mentally and emotionally as they bear this cross no parent should have to bear. We pray that you give them a peace and understanding that only you can provide. In Jesus's name...Amen.

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  19. I also found your blog throught Kelly's Korner. God Bless you and your 3 men. Praying now... and always.

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  20. I am so hopeful that by being home that all of you are able to get some much needed time to heal as a family and that Logan shows better progress just by being home.

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  21. I too have just found your blog from Kelly's Korner. I am so sorry to hear what trials your family is going through....it is really beyond something anyone can imagine until you are there. We recently had our son in the PICU with a very rare version of Guillain-Barre. It was one of the scariest episodes in our life. I appreciate the hard work it is taking for you all to keep putting one foot in front of the other each day. I will be praying for your comfort and strength...wish I could offer a hug.
    With our family's love,
    Cynthia
    http://www.adreamadoption.blogspot.com

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  22. I found your blog through Kelly's Korner and wanted you to know that I am praying for your family and your precious little Logan. I am also the mother of two boys and I can't imagine the pain you and your husband are going through. I pray peace as y'all make the transition from the hospital to being at home. I know that must be scary being away from all the doctor's and nurses. But know that the Lord will see you through every step of the way. I will continue to lift you and your precious family up in prayer!

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  23. Praise God for so many answered prayers and for you all being together at home! Continuing to pray for Logan and each of you! God is so faithful!

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  24. What a testimony to God's goodness while walking in the valley. Thank you for sharing your journey. Praying with you all from NC.

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  25. I am sending love and prayers to all of you. I came here from Kelly's blog and have read everything. You are strong and brave.

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